


The Cigarette Duet

by genesys (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cocaine, Drug Use, I Tried, LSD, M/M, Other, Shameless AU, Shameless Smut, Smut, crappy ending, does this count as angst?, mentions of;, mild to explicit language, the works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 22:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1242178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/genesys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn remembers distinctly as teenagers, him and Niall would sneak out at night and meet at the park, or even skip school just to see eachother. All they really wanted was to be alone, and to do what they've been waiting all week to do.</p><p>But now that he thinks about it ; it has been quite some time. They've graduated, and Zayn's gone off to college leaving his bad habits behind. Niall, however, did not have such luck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. past and present

**Author's Note:**

> the ending is really bad, sorry.

title from [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TV_128Fz2g)

-

 

It was 3PM. An awkward time to be going home on a weekday, this was the time when most teenagers boarded the city transit and bused it back home, not when graduates were sent home early for falling asleep at their station. 

Zayn blinked, the bags under his eyes imminent. 

He would go home and nestle down on the sofa, and maybe even sneak in a quick nap before the graveyard shift at his second job. Yes, second.

The bus bumped along the road at an unsteady pace, knocking him out of whatever subspace he was nearly drifting into. Suddenly all the background noise blended together, the laughing teenagers in the back and the crying babies in the front. This was utter torture on his temples.

But he made it home, his jellied legs managing to carry his body down a block and up the path leading to the condo that a few buddies from highschool graciously shared with him. It was quite nice for a bunch of young adults who had pasts of messy rooms and unwashed dishes. Everything was in it's place, and nothing was broken.. yet.

Quaint, even.

 

The door creaked open and he basically floated in, tossing his bag to the side and just relishing in the warmth and security that was his home.  _Ahh, at last_. Zayn sighed, and if he wasn't as tired as he was, it probably would've sounded content. "Hello." He called out, to no one in particular. 

He wandered through the main floor in search of people, being drawn by the strong scent in the living room. Oh,  _oh_. This was a sight to see.

"Niall." His eyebrows raised more in an amused manor, scoping out the room and the various unfamiliar faces that occupied it. Niall - an unusually enthusiastic blonde man who was probably way too proud of his hometown - stood up from where he was sitting crosslegged behind the coffee table, stepping over legs of which did not belong to him and making his way over to his roomie. "Zayn! Hi." Niall seemed out of breath, and a little lost for words. 

A sickly silence fell over the previously boisterous room, and everyone turned their heads away, swiping at whatever was on the  _also previously_ clean glass table.

"You're home early." Niall said, but it sounded more like a question. His cheeks were flushed, pupils dilated. Once bright blue now mostly black with a slim line of blue around the outside of the iris. Zayn nodded slowly, his lips drawn into an emotion that wasn't quite a smile, but at the same time didn't look all that sarcastic. 

"And you're having a party in the middle of the day."

Niall chuckled wryly, scratching the juncture where his forearm met his upperarm. "It's not a party, just a small get-together. You know." He coughed. "Hey, you look tired - you should go lay down?"

Zayn hadn't really moved from his spot in the doorway, but he was wondering how he hadn't fallen over. He had only just now remembered how tired he was, so he nodded again and allowed the blonde to usher him out of the room and down the creaky stairs that lead to the basement.

 

"You never said why you were home early?" Niall called out from where he was sitting on Zayn's unmade bed. He glanced up at the bathroom door just as it opened, watching as a showered Zayn made his way out into the main room. In only a pair of boxers, mind you.

The smirk that the blonde was wearing was boring a hole right through Zayn's spine, and only when he glanced over his shoulder did he see how truly suggestive this stupid boy was trying to be.

"I'm not complaining, but.." 

Zayn rolled his eyes, pulling open his dresser drawer and grabbing the first t-shirt he saw, which was a dark grey Volcom. Next he went scavenging for pants of any kind, but was stopped midway by a pair of grabby hands. Specifically a pair of grabby hands he wouldn't mind slamming in a door.

Those hands moved up his sides and wound their way around his torso like vines, and then suddenly a chin was rested on his shoulder, breathing hot air on his neck. "I fell asleep at work." Zayn replied, patting Niall's arms a few times harshly, figuring that he'd get no where by ignoring him - so why not give him a little attention.

"You should come downstairs and meet them."

Zayn made a sound of protest in the back of his throat, and bit his tongue before he could let anything like ' _fuck, do I have to'_ slip out of his mouth. "Oh c'mon. They're nice people."

"I'm sure they are, but what happened with our roommates? You know, the people who actually  _live_ here besides us."

Niall clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, attempting to flip Zayn around so they were facing eachother. "Louis and Liam are babysitting for a mutual friend or something, and Harry went to dinner with his family."

"Oh shit." Zayn said under his breath, currently working on escaping the vice-like grip that Niall has around him. "Fine, I'll meet your... oddly _quiet_ friends, but you owe me."

 

A few moments later they were upstairs again, Zayn wearing trousers this time and Niall wearing a shit-eating grin. "I'm back, sorry. Everyone this is Zayn. He's one of the roommates."

A few wine coolers later Zayn was checking his watch and excusing himself from his current conversation because he had an affair to tend to. Also known as his graveyard shift, which he would be late for if he didn't leave right that second.

 

He got home very early the next morning, greeted with an indistinct smell and pretty much every light in the house still on.

Niall was situated on the sofa, his eyes heavy-lidded and his skin blotchy and red like it would be from exertion. But he wasn't making any sounds other than the obnoxious snoring to indicate that he was alive or dead. Zayn chose alive and stumbled downstairs to his bedroom, collapsing on the mattress and sighing heavily into the pillows.

 

"Zayn." He felt his surroundings move, but didn't bother to open his eyes. Fuck the world. If there's an earthquake, so be it. Nothing can move Zayn fucking Malik from this bed. And honestly, if he would've opened his eyes sooner he would've seen it coming. 

Maybe then he would've been able to catch himself before he was forcibly shoved to the cold hardwood floor. He landed face first, letting out a loud wail of discomfort and then proceeding to explain in a strangled tone that he'd just fallen on his morning wood.

"Stop whining man, we've got a lot to do before sunrise."

He groaned, pulling himself up into a sitting position. His wide brown eyes met with a pair of lovely blue ones, which crinkled with the adorable smile that followed. After that Zayn had no more complaints to voice.

 

Him and Niall had snuck out the window and scaled the oak tree, landing rather ungracefully at the bottom. Only after they toppled over top of eachother did Zayn realize he forgot to close his window, but Niall just rolled his eyes and grabbed his arm, pulling him down the street.

"Where are we going exactly?"

Niall looked really excited all of a sudden, but he didn't make eyecontact even once. "My brother told me all about this one hot spot. How fucking great."

Zayn gave him a confused look and then did the same to his surroundings, taking note that they weren't in the same part of town anymore. After a bus ride and now endless amounts of walking, they were atleast an hour away from Zayn's neighborhood. "You've been there before, then?"

The blonde laughed, and laughed only. Even though Zayn had expected him to calm down soon and actually answer him, he just kept laughing. Although that itself did die down until he was sporting a scowl that mussed up his pretty face.

 

Zayn remembered the two guys who were already there taking mild offense to how loud-mouthed Niall was. It seemed like they were taking him seriously, until his accent kicked a tone higher and it sounded like he'd hit puberty then and there. He raised an eyebrow at his own voice.

"How old are you exactly?" One of them asked, fishing something out of his pocket and handing it to Niall, taking the money he held in his hand and pocketing that. It wasn't like they actually wanted to know but in a certain light the two seventeen year olds looked a whole lot more like fourteen, so better safe than sorry?

"Seventeen." 

And that was that, turning them around and sending them back to wherever they came from. Or something like that, considering they made a detour at Niall's brother's flat, a decision that only Niall knew about. There they sat in a circle around the coffee table and watched the older boys and girls take tokes from colourful bongs and snort lines of cocaine with a rolled up playbill.

Greg, Niall's brother, was sitting on the sofa the entire time - madly typing away at his laptop and explaining every five minutes to whoever asked that he was catching up on some lit work that was due today. 

"We gotta go, man. My mum's totally gonna flip if she sees an empty bed." Zayn says to the side of Niall's face, watching a stream of smoke expel from his lips. The blonde nodded and put out his cigarette, waving an indirect goodbye to his brother before taking off down the stairs after Zayn.

 

By the time they were back at the house, they were already out of breath. They took a moment and leaned up against the tree, gasping for a steady intake of oxygen. Zayn sighed to himself and began climbing the tree only to be stopped again - but this time by a pair of lips. "Go on, then." Niall said breathily, stepping back. That only spurred him on more, and he was in his bedroom quicker than he had left it.

 

"Zayn," He was moving again, and his eyes were shut again - slowly fluttering open and squinting against the harsh lighting of the room. There was a familiar body straddling his waist, their hair a familiar shock of blonde. 

They smiled all the same. It was Niall.

Zayn took a quick look around but nothing had changed. He was back in his basement room of the shared condo, back in the body of his present self. An only _mildly_ troubled twenty-one year old man, with a severely troubled twenty year old man straddling him. 

"You're sitting on me."

Niall shrugged, running his open palms down the planes of uncovered olive skin that lay beneath him. Zayn shivered, placing his own hands on the pale thighs ahead of him. "Are you complaining?" The blonde asked with a tilt to the head, his eyes opening a tad more. His pupils were back to a normal size which was a thankful thing to see.

He replied with a roll of the eyes and an 'of course not', then he pulled the sheets up around them and Niall down to lay on his chest. His fingers trailed up his t-shirt clad back, relishing in the way he shivered like he'd just been submerged in a tank of cold water.

With that, Zayn moved his hands upwards to rest at either side of his waist. He didn't do anything for a little, but then suddenly drew his index fingers back and jabbed them into the skin. Niall let out a loud yelp and slapped a hand over his mouth, glaring at Zayn with deceiving eyes.

"How mature of you."

Zayn smiled cheekily, rubbing his palms over the skin soothingly, then slipped them underneath the fabric - pushing it up the torso and over his head, tossing it to some odd corner. "What are we doing?" Niall asked with a tired smile, which was barely his lips turned up at the corners. 

"I'm doing  _you_ , what are you doing?" He beamed up at Niall, who scowled at him jokingly, then said 'fine' but that he wanted to lay down instead. 

The light conversation languidly turned into silence as Zayn prepped and pushed into Niall, keeping his sight trained on his face so he would know if he was doing something wrong. "Okay," Niall huffed out, which sounded more like he'd been punched in the stomach than anything, though he hadn't been.

Zayn raised his eyebrows and hovered over the blonde, blinking slowly and waiting for one word in particular. Niall draped an arm around Zayn's shoulder - placing his hand at the base of his neck. "Move." 

And so on, followed by a shower that was the least bit cleansing and actually caused the two to have to shower  _again_. Then they dressed themselves and went upstairs, freezing in the threshold of the kitchen at their three other roommates who were squawking and complaining about the thumping and screaming that was coming from downstairs.

 

"That was literally the only thing I could hear for the past hour." Louis said, white-knuckling the countertop. Harry was standing beside him trying not to burst out laughing, and Liam was sitting on the counter reading a book - not paying attention to the situation at all. "When it finally stopped I thought something was off. Gotten used to your girlish moans, Nialler."

Niall brought a hand up to his face, using the scratching of the bridge of his nose as an excuse to also flip Louis the bird. 

The latter chuckled and shook his head, whacking Liam's thigh to grab his immediate attention. The boy's eyes only looked over the top of his book. "What did I say about sitting on the counter, Liam. I don't wanna have'ta mother you."

Liam scoffed, placing his thumb on his page and closing the front of the book. "I paid your due of the rent for two months straight, this counter is as much mine as it is your's." And he went back to reading. 

 

Niall had crept out to the foyer somewhere in that discussion, and Zayn hadn't noticed despite the fact his arm had been around him the entire time. Regardless, he wandered towards the front door - thankful he'd been persuaded by a certain blonde minx to get properly dressed. He saw that the door to the sunroom was open but he didn't investigate, he just looked at the door for a minute with an extended torso then started back inside ; figuring Niall hadn't planned to be followed.

"Hey," He heard a small voice, thinking it was in his head at first. That is, until it came again, and he glanced in the general direction of the sound. Niall was sitting down on the old sofa, hunched over a cheap plastic table they got at some home decorating store. Zayn sauntered over with his hands tucked in his pockets. He responded with a small 'hello' once he'd sat down, finally seeing what he hadn't seen before.

On this table lay a single coffeeshop napkin and three even lines of some substance. Zayn knew exactly what it was, but he wanted Niall to acknowledge his false curiosity before he jumped to accusations.

Instead he got a trying gaze and arched eyebrows. "Nice day, huh?"

"I'm guessing you think it'll be substantially better with coke?" Zayn narrowed his eyes slightly, leaning forward so he could rest his elbows on his knees and observe the white powder at a closer stance. "It's not-" Niall started to speak again, trying to save himself, but then snapped his jaw shut, closing his eyes tightly.

 

Zayn wet his lips and reached a hand out to touch at the virgin corner of the napkin, not moving it. "How much did you pay for this shit?"

Niall audibly winced, leaning his head back against the backing of the sofa - probably wishing he could just shut himself out of the world until Zayn left him be. He thought about it. Zayn whistled. "Am I paying your share of the rent?"

The blonde wrenched one blue eye open to peek at the fuming brunet, not bothering to pretend like this was some kind of mistake. He should know better by now... shouldn't he? "Fucking _hell._ Get your shit together, would you?" Zayn pushed himself up into a standing position, resisting the urge to pace whilst he lectured him. He too opened his mouth to say something else, but seeing the shamed and slightly helpless look on Niall's face turned him off completely from any more criticizing. 

So instead, he held his index finger up and made a beeline to get back into the house.

 

 

"I can't believe this." Zayn said to himself, seventeen again, sitting atop a stranger's roof with Niall and Harry while a rager went on inside. They passed a newly rolled blunt around between the three of them and sat in utter silence, having only come here because Louis had said during chemistry that "this was going to be the party of the fucking year!" only to find out he was wrong. 

It was only nine and half the party had left an hour ago because the police had shown up, regarding a complaint from a neighbor. Louis looked to Liam and groaned. Then Liam shrugged. "Fuck it?" And Louis laughed, nodding. "Fuck it." Leaving the other three to fend for themselves.

"Believe what?" Harry asked, leaning forward to glance around Niall at Zayn. 

Zayn giggled, hiccuping every few seconds. "We're sitting on a roof at the "party of the year", and I'm having more fun _up here_ than I was _in there_."

It was now Niall's turn to laugh, toking from the joint before passing it to Harry. "You know you're cool when," And even though that was the end of the sentence, Harry and Zayn were waiting for the punchline. The punchline that never came. 

They all laughed.

 

 

Zayn got home from his graveyard shift at dawn, yawning as he shoved the housekey into the padlock and opened the door. The lights were on like usual, but there was idle chat coming from somewhere in the house. He dropped his bag by the door and sauntered in, running his fingers through his messy hair. "Hey?" He rounded the corner into the kitchen, eyeing everyone suspiciously.

Louis' eyes were red like he'd been crying not long ago, still kind of watery even. He leaned against the counter, on the phone and nodding stiffly at everything they said. Liam stood a little ways away from him but watched him curiously, then looked up at Zayn - gesturing for him to follow him into the hallway.

"Hey man, what's going on?" Zayn asked hurriedly, his eyes wide.

The only light that wasn't flipped on was the one in the hallway, which made it significantly harder for either one of them to see eachother's faces clearly. "Niall is in the hospital."

His jaw went slack. "What the fuck? Why?!" 

"He overdosed on klonopin sometime today, thank God Louis came home early from work." Liam talked him through it in the most unsure tone Zayn had ever heard him speak in, but he was still having the hardest time understanding why all this was happening. 

Two weeks since he'd caught Niall with coke, and nothing had happened since then. Sure things have been awkward between them, but he was convinced they were solved. Being naive and all.

 

Niall came home not long after that night, looking gaunt and hollow. The life had been sucked right out of his eyes, but he still smiled when he saw Zayn, flying into his arms and holding him like a vice. "Thanks for coming to visit me, asshole." He said, but it was in a light and playful tone. Zayn closed his eyes tight and tried not to squeeze him too hard, fearing that in his delicate state he might shatter to pieces... or something.

He promised Niall that he would come visit him every chance he got until he was released again, and he expected the blonde to not know what he was talking about - but he knew. 

"I fucking love you." Zayn said softly a few weeks later, holding Niall's hand tightly as they sat in the backseat of Louis' car, on the way to a highly-recommended rehabilitation center somewhere in the city. Louis and Liam were talking up front, in their own little conversation, so they figured they hadn't heard the confessional. But he wouldn't have minded if they did.

The blonde rolled his eyes but tightened his grip on Zayn's hand, grinning. "Yeah man. Y'know, I fucking love you too."

 


	2. you didn't look beautiful, you looked high

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ending sucks too, doesn't it

  
-

 

The last year of highschool is the glory year. The only year that matters to those who just want  _out_.

It's no assumption either that it was the year where everything could either go completely right, or completely wrong. You made decisions that would dictate your future, what schools you got into.. what jobs you got.. where you lived. But maybe that only applies to some, maybe it depends on the person and who their friends are.

There were four teenage boys, all within the same age range. Louis, nineteen. Liam, eighteen. Zayn, seventeen. Niall, seventeen (but a few months younger than Zayn). And Harry, who said he was seventeen, but was actually sixteen. (he may have skipped a grade, or failed one. who knows.)

 

"I can totally drink!" The youngest said loudly, drawing it out with a pouty-face. He was whining, infront of other people, and was surely making a scene. Louis looked up at him with widened eyes, muttering under his breath for the boy to stop acting like a child. Harry did no such thing in the stopping department.

Louis grabbed his forearm from across the table, staring him in the eye until he calmed down some. "You're a minor, you fuckwad. Stop asking me for drinks." He let go of the arm, and Harry frowned.

They were at an office party, since their parents worked together and all. Apparently it was some big deal to have a child to show off at these things, but Louis didn't think it applied to aspiring dealers and addicts as himself and... Harry, why not.

But it did, especially if the parents of said dealers and addicts did not know that their children were unknowingly headed in that direction.

"You can drink at the party or something."

Ah yes, the party of the year. A senior thrown party that Louis had mentioned tons before, watching as the eyes ahead of him lit up with fascination and want. He then continued to explain it, then dropped his smile as he explained since he was a 'gapyear graduate' he had a firsthand choose at his +1.

Niall spluttered, spraying his mountain dew all over the pile of textbooks piled on the kitchen table. Liam cried out in exasperation, rushing to save what was dry of his workbooks. "Me!" Louis shot the blonde a questioning glance, his eyebrow raised. "Holy fuck man, please take me with you." His jaw was dripping with dribble and leftover soda, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Sure," Louis shrugged, pulling at the collar of his t-shirt so it hung lower around his neck. 

Harry spluttered aswell, his lips coating Liam's books in a new layer of soda and.. ick. "What? You couldn't even think about it? What about me, man. We're like brothers!"

Louis rolled his eyes, but nodded all the same. "Yeah yeah, whatever. You're all coming with me anyways, put your panties back on."

The only person who didn't seem all that excited was Liam, who was using his shirt as a napkin to wipe up the mess. But he was always off in some other worried state - Louis didn't think he'd ever seen him be completely excited about anything.

The door flew open, and Zayn stood in the threshold - bending in half to try to catch his breath. "Hey." He said, swallowing down the dog-like pants that were threatening to escape his mouth. He wandered over to the table and sat down next to Niall, flicking behind his ear, making him squirm about in discomfort.

"We're going to the party of the year!" Harry exclaimed, looking to the eldest for confirmation, he got a nod in reply.

 

And that is how they got here, back in Harry and Louis' mother's office building, bickering about the consumption of alcohol. 

"It starts in ten minutes." Harry said, lifting his wrist up to his face to check the time, only to find he wasn't wearing a watch. "We need to be there." He glanced at Louis desperately, who shrugged. "Trust me, you'd never want to be the first one at a party anyways. An hour late is the minimum." He raised a hand to his face aswell, but began picking at his cuticles. 

Harry groaned. Then was handed a flute of champagne.

"Go give this to your mom." Louis said firmly, adjusting his bowtie. And off Harry went, turning in the opposite direction of his mother and keeping the drink for himself, a smug grin finding it's way back onto his lips.

 

Niall and Zayn arrived as a duo, and waited around in the crowded main floor for their friends to show up. They did, eventually - but most went off in different directions. Niall, Zayn and Harry in particular wound up on the roof, passing around a poorly rolled joint. When first handed it by Harry, they looked unimpressed, but Harry said "In my defense, I didn't plan on sharing it so I didn't think it'd matter." But a joint is a joint in their minds anyways.

As far as Liam and Louis, they waded through the crowd of teens until they found eachother, then found themselves a 24 hour diner down the street and resided there.

Niall yawned, stretching his arms above his head and closing his eyes tightly until he could see stars of his own. "I'm beat," He announced, turning his head to look at the other two. Zayn's eyes were red and kind of puffy, which was an indication that he was in fact, stoned as hell. Harry had barely taken any tokes, so he looked like his good ol' self, but sleepy.

"Walk me home?" Niall said to Zayn, who looked up at him with narrowed eyes and parted lips. "You have poor social skills," He replied, but stood up anyways - leaving the party with the blonde.

Harry fell asleep on the roof.

 

 

"What do you do?" Niall asked suddenly, observing both sides of his hand like it was a constellation. 

Zayn made a questioning noise in the back of his throat, resembling a 'hm?'. "What do you do? Hobbies?" To which Zayn sighed and thought. "I like to read and skate, and talk.. and sleep." The blonde chuckled absently, taking a few steps that swayed him to the opposite side. 

"And you?" Zayn asked, tugging on his arm so he wouldn't step off the sidewalk and into traffic. Niall took in a long breath and opened his mouth but he did not answer. "What do you do?" Zayn asked again, his eyebrows raised.

Maybe that was what he was looking for, because after that pause he began talking and Zayn wondered if he'd ever stop. He laughed softly, and kept laughing when Niall said, "Coke." Thinking he meant it as a joke.

 

 

Greg Horan is Niall's older brother. They live together in a flat a block away from Greg's uni and a few busrides away from Niall's highschool. Just the two of them, managing to pay the rent with the small sum of money they receive monthly by their absentee extended family.

It's a wonder how they get along well enough to live together, what with them being polar opposites.

Greg is an overly studious english major who works morning shifts as a shelf-stacker at a nearby bookstore. Whereas Niall cleans dishes at the cafe located in the center of the bookshop when it's lunchhour at school. Sounds functional, doesn't it?

 

In their spare time, they dabble in gamecube and various Tony Hawk videogames. Greg informs Niall of hot spots his friends always talk about, and Niall tells his friends. And they basically just buy drugs with the little money they have leftover to spend.

If the time of the month is awkward, and money is especially tight (which is how it normally is, with minimum wage and all) there'll be that apologetic chat with the landlord to let them catch up on the rent later on.

Niall is getting really good at doing puppy-dog eyes.  

 

Zayn has known Niall for a while now, going on five years. He's seen him through the good and the bad, though it's mostly been bad. Niall has a problem.

Then there's Louis, Harry and Liam. They've lived close to the highschool since before they were even in freshman year, and have known eachother long before that even. Zayn and Niall stepped into the picture on the first day of grade ten, and what a mighty fine picture that is.

 

"How did you pay for this?" Louis asked as he watched Liam and Harry pester with a small packet of colourful tablets. Harry laughed and shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets. "I didn't. Gemma left them sitting out so I just helped myself. As you do." He nodded towards the tablets.

Zayn gnawed away on his thumbnail, his free arm resting on the forearm of the occupied. He watched them empty the packet onto a napkin and distribute them. But he knew better than let his temptations get to him, so he just watched with a lump in his throat. Maybe he could be the designated driver, as if that wasn't already Liam's job.

He took that thought back, watching the latter carelessly take the drug and then lean back against the lawn chair, opening his copy of 'Of Mice and Men' like nothing had happened.

 

He found himself missing a certain blonde, scouting the area for any sign of him. Zayn asked around a little, trying to seem nonchalant. "Over by the shed, probably?" Louis told him, so off he went. There was no one by the shed, much to his surprise - so he went inside, having to dodge several people in order to make a stable entry in the kitchen.

Niall was off to the side in the crowded room, but he looked euphoric and in his own world. Zayn watched him. Watched his face.

He took in the fact that his pupils were blown wide and his eyes in general were swimming in water. 

He observed the girl next to him as she swooned over him, telling him he was beautiful and then "gracefully" taking a hit of coke. Right there in the kitchen. 

Well, fuck.

She said it again after Niall had stopped chuckling, and Zayn just thought,  _you don't look beautiful, you look high. these people only think you look beautiful because they're stoned._ Then his named was called out, and soon after that there was a face standing a bit too close to him. He smiled up at Zayn, sleepily. "I tried looking for you earlier," Niall hiccuped, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. "Louis was supposed to take me home an hour ago but he told me to ask you instead, but I couldn't find you! Where did you hide?" 

Zayn blinked.

"Take me home, please."

 

Walking to the bus stop was an interesting experience to say the least, probably even more if you'd never supported 99.9% of a stoned person's bodyweight. Niall was fully capable of walking on his own, but he wouldn't stop giggling and telling Zayn how fucking tired he was.

"Do you ever think about your mom?" Zayn asked, tightening his grip around Niall's waist, thankful that he decided to carry himself a little better. The blonde hummed, then nodded his head. "Sure." He wrapped his fingers around the sign at the bus stop when they got there, using that as a support system instead. "I moved out here on a whim. She was getting after me about things I was insecure about, and I needed an.. escape."

He yawned. "What about you, man? Where's your mom?"

Zayn chuckled lightly on his own account, watching as the bus pulled up to the stop and as the door opened. He helped Niall onto the bus and dug through his pocket for some change, then joined the blonde in the far back of the empty vehicle. "She's at home right now, probably wondering where  _I_ am."

Niall smiled with shut eyes. "Your mom's pretty hot, y'know."

"Shut the fuck up." The latter said, whacking the blonde on the arm, but his lips still turned up in a smirk. "Stop being cheeky, she's my fucking  _mom_." 

One blue eye popped open. "Your hot mom."

"My  _mom_ , she's my mom. The woman who gave birth to me, and I'd prefer if you'd not call her anything other than 'Zayn's mom' around me."

Niall grinned, letting out a tired sigh. "Alright, sorry."

 

 

He threw up in Zayn's mother's rose bush, and that's when Zayn made the executive decision to babysit his best friend for the night. 

And perhaps for a while longer after that.

 

Skipping ahead a few months or so, to the summer. June to be exact. Niall's habits of wasting money got substantially worse, and Greg threatened to kick him out or send him back home to live with their mother. Niall rolled his eyes and picked up a few extra shifts at the cafe, which meant all his tips and "salary" went to Greg and to rent, which also meant he couldn't pick-up, which  _also_ meant he was going to be sober unless he found another source.

At parties he would sit with Zayn and they would have real conversations about their futures and things, until one of them got bored and started talking about someone attractive they saw lately.

And on the late afternoon after their graduation, they sat on the roof of Niall's apartment building, having come up there through the fire escape. Niall sat there and fidgeted, trying to focus on what his friend was saying and not what his impulsive thoughts were.

On a whim, he pulled Zayn closer to him and crashed their lips together, pulling away when he saw how wide and shocked Zayn's eyes were. 

He nibbled on his lip, turning his body ahead again to look over the edge. 

"I wanted to kiss you sober,"

Zayn still hadn't said anything, but he was boring a hole right through Niall's skull.

And he really hoped he'd never be found out for lying about that, lying that he'd wanted to kiss him in his right frame of mind. Sure he'd wanted to kiss him sooner or later, but he didn't care about being sober. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
